Last year as some know but not many I made a goal to pretty much cut out soda from my diet for my New Years Revolution. And to this day since last December I have had only about 24 ounces of soda so I think that is pretty much a success. And this year I am setting a new goal one that I have already started.
This next year I plan to cut out Electronic games from my life. I have already placed a self imposed a ban on spending any money on games. I have also removed most of the games off my computer and tablet that I do not have money invested in that I have gotten my moneys worth from. So meaning once I have made use of the the 2 games i pre-ordered before I made this decision I will remove them also. Basically leaving only a few basic games on my tablet as time killers if I am out of the house waiting on something and have nothing else to do,
Some may ask why am I doing this? I have looked at myself and why I am not doing things I have had planed to do for some time. Because unless I have to do something like work I sit down with the intention to play say one game that turns into all night. Or after words I am so pissed because of the people I played with I don't feel like doing anything else. I plan to do a number of things with all the time I will be freeing up when i do this.
I plan to finally seriously write the book series i have had planned for a few years now. I also plan to go down my spiritual path more. I have been neglecting this more to do both of these like I said because of the games have sucked up so much of my life. I may even sell my steam account and PlayStation account down the road.
I just hope doing all this will allow me to do what I want to do.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Mind Uncorked
I first off want to say this post may not make a whole lot of sense to everyone. But it will be my thoughts on Life, Fate, and even Destiny. It will be a mixture of thoughts questions for anyone who may read this to answer. I just want to get allot of these thoughts out of my head that have been building up for some time. I do not care if no one like this or if they even care. So if you have purely negative things to say about this then please stay the hell away and don't bother saying anything to me. That being said it doesn't mean you cant say something negative just if you say 1 thing negative say 1 thing positive and please try to keep negative things constructive. I will apologize in advanced this may be a bit all over but please try to stay with me. So here we go.
I have often thought to myself why? Why am I a man....? Why am I human? Why was I born to the family I was? Why am I who I am inside? The questions could go on and on.. The reason is the way i see it cause of events in the past.. For those who don't know this about me I was not conceived through normal means. I was conceived through in vitro fertilization. For those who don't know what that is. It is when they take sperm or an egg or even both from 1 parent or sometimes both and combine them outside the mother and insert them in a surrogate mother who is willing to go to term with the baby. There are other ways it is done but that's besides the point. Bottom of the line is if my father would have been even 1 sec later to playing his part in me coming to be i may have been female or i as in my soul might not have been born human some other soul may have been my fathers kid and I may have been born as say a wolf hell might have even been born a mosquitoes for all I know.
I have talked about this with only a few people but I believe in a bit of a different form of reincarnation that most who do believe in it. I believe you can be born in any body be it animal or human. But for me I take it a little further. I believe that you can also be born on any plane or dimension if you want to call it that. So meaning you could be born a Earth that doesn't have humans on it but instead various species of humanoid animals. Or even an Earth where Magic like we see on T.V and in games actually exist. Hell you might not even be born on earth. You might be born on some other planet entirely. And yes that means i believe in aliens. For those who think of it simply from a statistical standpoint. There are 2-3 trillion or far far more planets that we know of in the universe this one that is. So what is the probability of only 1 of those planets having life? It is very very very low.
So back to my earlier point. We are who we are now cause of events in the past from when our parents first conceived us down to the very second. To the paths we choose from before we are conscious of our decisions to when we are. We are even who we are now cause of the choices of others. A drunk may decide to have 1 extra drink in a bar and then kill someone on their way home or thy may decide to not have that one drink and while still drunk make it home with out issue. Why? Cause that little amount of time they spend drinking that 1 extra drink places who they hit at the X so to speak right on the mark instead of before the X if he didn't have the drink. To deciding to play on the monkey bars where we meet our best friend who we grow up with and help shape who we become. Or we can decide to go to the swings and never meet who would have been our best friend in life. Even more than just that can come from simple decision. Cause you didn't meet your best friend who helps shape you.. You now never meet the one you are meant to share your life with. And you spend the rest of your life alone and single or countless failed marriages.
Literally everything we do we have at least 1 other path we can choose from but often there are far far more than that. Do we get out of bed today? Do we go to work? Do we go to work but pretend to be sick and go home early? Do we go to work but not do anything? Do we steal from work? I could endlessly show examples of different many different paths just regarding work. And that only includes our decisions not ones of others. Some people may think "Oh why I do doesn't others." Regardless of what it is they would be wrong. Every decision anyone on the planet makes it will effect you in some way. It may take years for the chain of events to reach you but it eventually will. But that isn't even the end of it. You may think it is only the decisions of people who effect you. But you would be wrong yet again. It is the decisions of animals even the plants and even the earth it's self. Everything has consciousness while yes my not be like we have as humans but they indeed have it.
There are unlimited possibilities every second that can shape who we are. From things that may effect us this very second to those decision made now that may not effect us till may years down the road. But that isn't even the end of it. They may effect who or what you are in the next life.
At this point in reading this you may want to ask me how do you know all this. Fact is I don't. I am not afraid to admit that. Everything here so far and to come in this post if what I feel is true. And if you don't trust what you feel is true then you have issues. So at this point I would like to change topics a bit. But first I would like to ask you readers what do think of everything i have said so far? Do you what do you think of my logic. Feel free to speak your mind just remember please try to not be only negative and what negative things you do say try to still be constructive.
I want to get a little more personal with things at this point. A number of things between me and my family began to sour... First with my "mother". You may ask why I have the quotations around mother and I will explain why.
As long as I can remember she never really felt like a mother looking back at things now. I think now all she really wanted was the title of "mother". She has done many rather trashy things in my life from making the courts take me from a Doctor who i loved who didn't believe in needing to medicate kids for simply being kids. She had in her mind I had ADHD so she made the courts have me changed to a pediatrician who would medicate me. She even tried to have me put in a special ed class at one point. With another thing that bothered me is when her and my father divorced she moved over 6 hours away. Now I do not care that she moved away away but she didn't think of me at all when she did move. A sensible parent who doesn't have custody of the kid(s) would only move say no more than 1-2 hours way to make it easy on the kid to visit them or easy for them to visit the kid(s) . There is also the fact she in a little over 18 years only came all the way to visit me only 3 times in my life. 2 of which I basically threatened her to come. Normally claiming "oh it's so hard for me to get up there" There were other things also she claimed. Showing how she thought was in the pick up/ drop off spots for me. My father picked a spot that was fun for me what was an Arcade even though it was a bit further for him to drive and closer to her.. While she picked a truck stop cause it was dead center for both her and my father with nothing fun at all for me anywhere near the stop. She was even ordered at one point to take a parenting class by the courts. For those who don't know the courts normally side in custody battles with the mother. To take a quote from the Huffington Post is this " Across a wide range of jurisdictions the estimates are that mothers receive primary custody 68-88% of the time, fathers receive primary custody 8-14%, and equal residential custody is awarded in only 2-6% of the cases." As you can see you have to fuck up pretty bad as a mother to not win custody with 70%-94% of the time the mother getting full or equal custody. But that's enough about her. If still want to know more then feel free to ask me. I will answer anything.
But this brings me to about 2008 with my father and step-mother. While yes things were degrading before that it was summer of 2008 that shit really hit the fan. I was going to summer school for the last time. I had already passed both my classes and I still had days i could miss. So I decided I wouldn't go to my last day. Now I don't remember everything I said but my step other wouldst allow be to skip the last day. Pulling the sheets forcibly off me and a number of other things before that already having me pissed off. But the tearing the sheets off me sent me off the edge and I called her a bitch. It was shortly after that that things really started getting bad. For years now my father has always tried to control how I look. Him making me cut my hair despite me wanting to grow it out. That alone cause allot of strife. But it was after the incident with my step-mother that things started to compile even more. I i moved out with a friend but had to return. My father trying to be just as controlling as before despite me being an adult now. It continued to get worse to the point where I was literally wanting to kill him. And I thought to myself I need to get out now before I do something I regretted. So I moved to Florida with some friends for 3 years. Thankfully as i returned things are much better between us. I think he realizes the mistakes and things he did wrong before. Cause he isn't as controlling as he was before. But at the same time I grew up allot as well. I think that is enough of this topic for now so like before if you want to know more please feel free to ask me.
I would like to explain just a little about my religious views and why I left Christianity all those years ago now. In the last few years that I was technically Christian I started to feel like there was more to life that it. I felt like it just wasn't correct. Hearing all the stories in the bible they just sounded wrong to me. One story I feel more than others and that is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. I would like to ask you readers this first though. Do you think if someone today nuked a town off the map simply simply cause people in the town believed in/did things you didn't believe in correct and just. To answer it simply no you wouldn't think it is. Fact is you would call for that person to answer for their crimes. So why do Christians think that the destruction of the 2 cities wasn't a bad thing? To tell the truth I really don't know. And that was an issue with me. It is other stories like that I started to really having issues with. To me all the stories talk about a God who is childish and petty. Supporting war mongers and murders. If you want to know what I mean by that look up historical facts about King David the one that the bible portrays as a Godly man. You will find out he killed women and children of the cities/towns he razed. I just couldn't rightfully believe in something like that. Also i just got the feeling like ALLOT not all of Christians are nothing more than sheep hell some even call themselves that saying things along the line of "i am the sheep and you are my shepherd" speaking to god that is. And they only believe what they do because that's what some book tells them to think. Believing in it because that's what your parents told you to think. And because of that you go through your whole life blindly following what you were raised with never thinking about why.
I even think of Catholicism as a truly evil organization. You may ask why? Well the reason is simple they have I feel more than any other religion tried to suppress it's people. They they for centuries have suppress knowledge. I feel they they are the reason the dark ages happened. They didn't want people to be able to think for themselves to blindly follow as sheep. Even today they still suppress knowledge. The about of documents,books, scrolls and far more locked within the walls of of the Vatican Archives would blow your mind. Some theorize why they do that is because it would destroy the religion and possibly others if people knew the truth. I believe things like they aren't for aren't for them to decide. I believe all of those manuscripts should be released to the world for people to decide how to handle it. And if it destroys the church then so be it. It was meant to be if that was the case. If I ever had enough money I would hire a private militarily and I would raid the Vatican and liberate everything in the archives. And you may ask would I sell what I get? Well the answer no I wouldn't. I would give it all away to people who would send the knowledge out to the world cause that knowledge dose not belong to any one person or group but it belongs to the world.
That all being said I feel like I could say more but I think i have said enough for now. So please tell me what you think of all this. I would really to love your thoughts all of this or as much as you care to reply to.
I have often thought to myself why? Why am I a man....? Why am I human? Why was I born to the family I was? Why am I who I am inside? The questions could go on and on.. The reason is the way i see it cause of events in the past.. For those who don't know this about me I was not conceived through normal means. I was conceived through in vitro fertilization. For those who don't know what that is. It is when they take sperm or an egg or even both from 1 parent or sometimes both and combine them outside the mother and insert them in a surrogate mother who is willing to go to term with the baby. There are other ways it is done but that's besides the point. Bottom of the line is if my father would have been even 1 sec later to playing his part in me coming to be i may have been female or i as in my soul might not have been born human some other soul may have been my fathers kid and I may have been born as say a wolf hell might have even been born a mosquitoes for all I know.
I have talked about this with only a few people but I believe in a bit of a different form of reincarnation that most who do believe in it. I believe you can be born in any body be it animal or human. But for me I take it a little further. I believe that you can also be born on any plane or dimension if you want to call it that. So meaning you could be born a Earth that doesn't have humans on it but instead various species of humanoid animals. Or even an Earth where Magic like we see on T.V and in games actually exist. Hell you might not even be born on earth. You might be born on some other planet entirely. And yes that means i believe in aliens. For those who think of it simply from a statistical standpoint. There are 2-3 trillion or far far more planets that we know of in the universe this one that is. So what is the probability of only 1 of those planets having life? It is very very very low.
So back to my earlier point. We are who we are now cause of events in the past from when our parents first conceived us down to the very second. To the paths we choose from before we are conscious of our decisions to when we are. We are even who we are now cause of the choices of others. A drunk may decide to have 1 extra drink in a bar and then kill someone on their way home or thy may decide to not have that one drink and while still drunk make it home with out issue. Why? Cause that little amount of time they spend drinking that 1 extra drink places who they hit at the X so to speak right on the mark instead of before the X if he didn't have the drink. To deciding to play on the monkey bars where we meet our best friend who we grow up with and help shape who we become. Or we can decide to go to the swings and never meet who would have been our best friend in life. Even more than just that can come from simple decision. Cause you didn't meet your best friend who helps shape you.. You now never meet the one you are meant to share your life with. And you spend the rest of your life alone and single or countless failed marriages.
Literally everything we do we have at least 1 other path we can choose from but often there are far far more than that. Do we get out of bed today? Do we go to work? Do we go to work but pretend to be sick and go home early? Do we go to work but not do anything? Do we steal from work? I could endlessly show examples of different many different paths just regarding work. And that only includes our decisions not ones of others. Some people may think "Oh why I do doesn't others." Regardless of what it is they would be wrong. Every decision anyone on the planet makes it will effect you in some way. It may take years for the chain of events to reach you but it eventually will. But that isn't even the end of it. You may think it is only the decisions of people who effect you. But you would be wrong yet again. It is the decisions of animals even the plants and even the earth it's self. Everything has consciousness while yes my not be like we have as humans but they indeed have it.
There are unlimited possibilities every second that can shape who we are. From things that may effect us this very second to those decision made now that may not effect us till may years down the road. But that isn't even the end of it. They may effect who or what you are in the next life.
At this point in reading this you may want to ask me how do you know all this. Fact is I don't. I am not afraid to admit that. Everything here so far and to come in this post if what I feel is true. And if you don't trust what you feel is true then you have issues. So at this point I would like to change topics a bit. But first I would like to ask you readers what do think of everything i have said so far? Do you what do you think of my logic. Feel free to speak your mind just remember please try to not be only negative and what negative things you do say try to still be constructive.
I want to get a little more personal with things at this point. A number of things between me and my family began to sour... First with my "mother". You may ask why I have the quotations around mother and I will explain why.
As long as I can remember she never really felt like a mother looking back at things now. I think now all she really wanted was the title of "mother". She has done many rather trashy things in my life from making the courts take me from a Doctor who i loved who didn't believe in needing to medicate kids for simply being kids. She had in her mind I had ADHD so she made the courts have me changed to a pediatrician who would medicate me. She even tried to have me put in a special ed class at one point. With another thing that bothered me is when her and my father divorced she moved over 6 hours away. Now I do not care that she moved away away but she didn't think of me at all when she did move. A sensible parent who doesn't have custody of the kid(s) would only move say no more than 1-2 hours way to make it easy on the kid to visit them or easy for them to visit the kid(s) . There is also the fact she in a little over 18 years only came all the way to visit me only 3 times in my life. 2 of which I basically threatened her to come. Normally claiming "oh it's so hard for me to get up there" There were other things also she claimed. Showing how she thought was in the pick up/ drop off spots for me. My father picked a spot that was fun for me what was an Arcade even though it was a bit further for him to drive and closer to her.. While she picked a truck stop cause it was dead center for both her and my father with nothing fun at all for me anywhere near the stop. She was even ordered at one point to take a parenting class by the courts. For those who don't know the courts normally side in custody battles with the mother. To take a quote from the Huffington Post is this " Across a wide range of jurisdictions the estimates are that mothers receive primary custody 68-88% of the time, fathers receive primary custody 8-14%, and equal residential custody is awarded in only 2-6% of the cases." As you can see you have to fuck up pretty bad as a mother to not win custody with 70%-94% of the time the mother getting full or equal custody. But that's enough about her. If still want to know more then feel free to ask me. I will answer anything.
But this brings me to about 2008 with my father and step-mother. While yes things were degrading before that it was summer of 2008 that shit really hit the fan. I was going to summer school for the last time. I had already passed both my classes and I still had days i could miss. So I decided I wouldn't go to my last day. Now I don't remember everything I said but my step other wouldst allow be to skip the last day. Pulling the sheets forcibly off me and a number of other things before that already having me pissed off. But the tearing the sheets off me sent me off the edge and I called her a bitch. It was shortly after that that things really started getting bad. For years now my father has always tried to control how I look. Him making me cut my hair despite me wanting to grow it out. That alone cause allot of strife. But it was after the incident with my step-mother that things started to compile even more. I i moved out with a friend but had to return. My father trying to be just as controlling as before despite me being an adult now. It continued to get worse to the point where I was literally wanting to kill him. And I thought to myself I need to get out now before I do something I regretted. So I moved to Florida with some friends for 3 years. Thankfully as i returned things are much better between us. I think he realizes the mistakes and things he did wrong before. Cause he isn't as controlling as he was before. But at the same time I grew up allot as well. I think that is enough of this topic for now so like before if you want to know more please feel free to ask me.
I would like to explain just a little about my religious views and why I left Christianity all those years ago now. In the last few years that I was technically Christian I started to feel like there was more to life that it. I felt like it just wasn't correct. Hearing all the stories in the bible they just sounded wrong to me. One story I feel more than others and that is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. I would like to ask you readers this first though. Do you think if someone today nuked a town off the map simply simply cause people in the town believed in/did things you didn't believe in correct and just. To answer it simply no you wouldn't think it is. Fact is you would call for that person to answer for their crimes. So why do Christians think that the destruction of the 2 cities wasn't a bad thing? To tell the truth I really don't know. And that was an issue with me. It is other stories like that I started to really having issues with. To me all the stories talk about a God who is childish and petty. Supporting war mongers and murders. If you want to know what I mean by that look up historical facts about King David the one that the bible portrays as a Godly man. You will find out he killed women and children of the cities/towns he razed. I just couldn't rightfully believe in something like that. Also i just got the feeling like ALLOT not all of Christians are nothing more than sheep hell some even call themselves that saying things along the line of "i am the sheep and you are my shepherd" speaking to god that is. And they only believe what they do because that's what some book tells them to think. Believing in it because that's what your parents told you to think. And because of that you go through your whole life blindly following what you were raised with never thinking about why.
I even think of Catholicism as a truly evil organization. You may ask why? Well the reason is simple they have I feel more than any other religion tried to suppress it's people. They they for centuries have suppress knowledge. I feel they they are the reason the dark ages happened. They didn't want people to be able to think for themselves to blindly follow as sheep. Even today they still suppress knowledge. The about of documents,books, scrolls and far more locked within the walls of of the Vatican Archives would blow your mind. Some theorize why they do that is because it would destroy the religion and possibly others if people knew the truth. I believe things like they aren't for aren't for them to decide. I believe all of those manuscripts should be released to the world for people to decide how to handle it. And if it destroys the church then so be it. It was meant to be if that was the case. If I ever had enough money I would hire a private militarily and I would raid the Vatican and liberate everything in the archives. And you may ask would I sell what I get? Well the answer no I wouldn't. I would give it all away to people who would send the knowledge out to the world cause that knowledge dose not belong to any one person or group but it belongs to the world.
That all being said I feel like I could say more but I think i have said enough for now. So please tell me what you think of all this. I would really to love your thoughts all of this or as much as you care to reply to.
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